Bikes and skateboards have long been ubiquitous on college campuses, but in recent years a new form of transport has arrived: The e-scooter. The hum of their tiny motors is almost ever-present here at Plattsburgh State, where e-scooters zip along sidewalks and even park in classrooms.
But I’m here to tell you all: E-scooters are dumb.
I get that there are advantages to a motor. I can imagine it’s much easier on the legs, especially on uphills. As a skateboarder myself, I often walk into a classroom with accordion-legs. Obviously, motors are fast. What’s more, e-scooters are relatively affordable. An entry level skateboard will run you at least $120, while e-scooters can be picked up from Walmart or Target for about $200.
But damn, those scooters are ugly. The cold metallic blacks and grays of the e-scooter have no swag. Wires stick out at awkward angles. I’m sorry, but the scooter handle will never be cool.
What you’re losing is aura. A skateboard can really compliment an aesthetic. I never feel cooler than when I have my sweet, slick cherry-wood longboard on my hip or beneath my feet.
E-transports have also started building up a nasty reputation. In New York City, pedestrians and drivers alike have developed beef with e-bikes and e-scooters taking up too much space in roads or going too fast and disrespecting foot-travelers. The antagonism is even spreading north of the Adirondacks to rural Plattsburgh.
Personally, I’ve found electric enthusiasts to be much more standoffish than their man-powered counterparts. As a bit of a social butterfly, I’ve had many conversations with peers about where they bought their boards, or what model bike they ride around. But try chatting with someone who rides an e-scooter or e-bike, usually they zip by without so much as a glance. Even trying to start conversations with classmates who’ve parked their steed at the door has netted me nothing but an impersonal nod.
Maybe the e-scooter people see me as a kind of caveman, sweating away as I push myself around on a piece of wheeled-wood. But I do it with style. Do they?
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