By Chris Tufino
There’s something deeply humbling about dropping 50 kills in a Call of Duty 6 game just to be told, “Go make me a sandwich.” I had just wiped the lobby twice, and now I was being told to make my bottom frag dinner.
We all know the stereotype of the sexist, racist, and misogynistic Call of Duty (COD) lobbies. The Kyles and Conners are infamous for being some of the most insufferable people to play online games with. Women now make up about 50 percent of all online players according to the Entertainment Software Association. So I wondered what it would be like for a girl getting online in 2025. I didn’t want to just ask a friend about their experiences though, I wanted the real deal. I thought I’d try stepping into their shoes. I bought a voice changer from TikTok, switched my user name to what I thought was the feminine-sounding “Sdny_love88,” and went undercover as a girl on COD and 2K26.
I joined the lobby and it instantly felt like I was defusing a bomb. Initially it was nothing but silent, so I started off on a positive note by saying “let’s get a dub.” This was followed with further silence, my assumption being that these incels were immediately scrambling to plug in their microphones. I was greeted with an eruption of “Oh my f***** god” and “GG’s we lost.”
We haven’t even loaded in the game and I already wanted to leave. This really set the tone for the rest of my experience.
Let’s start with the first match. Team Deathmatch. I popped off — 52 kills, 5 deaths. MVP. I go to say “GG” and am immediately hit with:
“Oh my god I can’t stand playing with girls.”
“You must’ve had your boyfriend play for you.”
“If you’re really a girl let me get your SNAP.”
There was no middle ground in my interactions, it was either overtly flirting, or belligerent sexism and misogyny. COD was the same weird cesspool of men harassing me whether I did good or bad that it’s always been. I understood first hand why women make their own spaces, especially for games with communities like this one.
Switching gears, I hopped into 2K26’s The City mode. If you think hooping as a male-player in a basketball game makes things better — it doesn’t. Once they found out I was a girl, it was the same overly sexual or sexist comments flying my way.
I walked over to 3v3 at the park with a custom MyPlayer. After winning two games back-to-back, the chat lights up:
“Ain’t no way that’s a girl. She’s zenning.”
“Bro, you let a girl cook you like that?”
“Bet she ugly tho.”
If I won, I had to be cheating. If I lost, I was called “trash like every girl.” Playing as a “woman,” there is literally no winning.
This has been both an enlightening and unbearable experience. There are very few moments where I’d rather put my head through a wall than do something,but this experiment was one of those moments. Trying to enjoy the games I enjoyed became a chore more than a way to relax and unwind.
Although experiences weren’t the best this isn’t meant to deter women from playing the games they enjoy. But to point out the still prevalent toxic culture that exists in the gaming community. With an increase in women in gaming and spaces where they are welcomed being created the gaming community can become a space that everyone can enjoy.
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