The biggest day on the sports and social calendar is here: Super Bowl Sunday. It’s an event marked on nearly everyone’s calendar, meaning that most of us will find ourselves crammed into a room with people in varying states of interest in the game. 

If you’ve been to a few Super Bowl parties, you might have noticed that almost everybody has their thing. It’s simple. Everyone attending a Super Bowl must play a specific part that is crucial to the functioning of the evening. So what’s your role going to be? 

I Am the Buffalo Chicken Dip Guy

I like socializing too much to be the guy who’s super invested in the actual Super Bowl. I’m too broke to be the guy who has a dozen bets going. And I’m way too ADHD to be the guy who loves all the commercials. 

When you find out that you don’t fall into any of those main categories, you gotta get creative. That is how I secured my coveted title of: Buffalo Chicken Dip Guy. 

Anyone who’s anyone realizes that the backbone of any good Super Bowl party is the Buffalo chicken dip. Without it the vibes of the night can be completely thrown off, meaning  my role is crucial. Being the Buffalo Chicken Dip Guy, you have one job: make sure everyone has a tangy dip with a thick creamy texture to dip their chips or other Super Bowl related snacks into. Now, I would love to break down my secret recipe, but that would make it not-so-secret. 

Not everyone can be the Buffalo Chicken Dip Guy, and that’s alright. Be creative, know your role, and own your  function.

-By Evan Rando

Drake Who? 

I don’t care about football. I don’t have a favorite team. I wouldn’t know Drake Maye if he walked into my classroom, except that he’d probably be a tall guy. I do love sports (I play for my college softball team), but that love just doesn’t translate to America’s most-watched game. 

However, I will be watching the Super Bowl because it’s just what everybody does. To keep myself entertained, I like to spot the photographers on the sidelines. I’m a sports photographer myself, and I drool over the thousands of dollars in lenses and camera bodies that they get to hold in their hands. I am also fond of a good Super Bowl snack like Buffalo chicken dip. 

And when I’m looking at the photos that are published after the event, hopefully they tag Drake Maye, so I finally know who he is. 

-By Emma Deo

Super Snacks

Every year my family drags me to their Super Bowl party. More interesting than the game is watching my relatives scream at the TV when their favorite players get laid out. 

While everyone is losing their minds over a bunch of sweaty men in tights getting physical with each other, I’m in the kitchen helping myself to free food. On a normal day I won’t down a liter of soda and slam a couple plates of cheese and crackers, but something about the Super Bowl makes me feel all big and greedy. The snacks taste 10x better than any other time of year. 

-By Adam Blanchard

An “All-American” Show

I’ve never watched the Super Bowl. But after hearing about Kendrick Lamar’s overtly political halftime show last year, I felt it was worth watching. Don’t mistake me: I didn’t watch any of the actual game. I just watched Lamar, and he was powerful. Rather than use the platform to merely celebrate his own music, he used it to spotlight America’s racial tensions. During the performance, Samuel L Jackson made a cameo as “Uncle Sam” who made a tongue-in-cheek criticism of both Lamar and “the game” as “too loud, too reckless, too ghetto” — underscoring America’s feeling toward Black culture.  

This year, Bad Bunny will headline the halftime show. As a Puerto Rican, Bad Bunny is a citizen of the United States, yet his halftime show is nevertheless getting criticized as “un-American.” (Turning Points USA is holding an alternate “All-American Halftime Show” with Trump-supporter Kid Rock.) In a country that feels increasingly fragmented and polarized, it seems appropriate that even the Super Bowl halftime show would be split in half. 

-Yasmine Alregabi