Through the ups and downs of my life, I had one thing that always kept me holding on: Writing. It may seem like a simple skill to some, but writing has been my most sacred friend and confidante. I knew from a very young age that I did not have many friends or siblings. I felt heard by jotting my thoughts down in a diary.
But, eventually I stopped writing for myself. I only wrote mediocre school essays and articles hoping a simple word would reflect just how passionate I am about it.
However, that didn’t happen for months. After some careful reflection, I remembered exactly why I loved writing in the first place.
1. Self-Awareness
I realized there was more to writing than meeting deadlines and hoping your work comes back with little to no edits. For me, writing was as easy as breathing. I can write a lengthy essay about anything in 2-3 hours, but when it comes to writing about myself, I’m stuck. How do I fix that?
2. Get a diary.
I took myself back to the drawing board and decided to buy myself a diary. I began writing about anything and everything. I wrote about bees smelling flowers and how grateful I was to have never gotten stung in my 21 years of living. I even drew a flower in the corner of the page, but that reminded me exactly why I stuck to writing in the first place.
3. Writing about topics I am passionate about, not the ones that are assigned to me.
What should’ve been an easy task gave me writer’s block for 72 hours. I sat in my chair at my desk that I’ve sat at a million times writing stories about countries I’ve never been to and people I’ve never met. So, why is it so hard to write about the one person I stare at in the mirror everyday? I realized the easiest way to do this simple task was to address someone I hadn’t seen or heard from in a very long time. Dear Little Kiyanna, long time no see.
4. Remember why I started writing in the first place and why I stopped.
I remembered exactly where I was when I got my first diary and the first thing I wrote. “Dear Diary, It’s Christmas day and mom just gave me my first diary. She said ‘No more writing in your school book.’” From that day on, I never wrote about my life or myself in a notebook. I kept my school book full of problems to solve and my diary full of hopes and dreams. My first diary was all about my day-to-day struggles living in a different country than my family and finding a way to fit in when I had felt isolated. After running through dozens of diaries and journals, I stopped writing consistently when I was in college. My words were not mine anymore. They were taken over by every assignment, article and essay. It felt like I was swimming on the outside, but on the inside I was drowning. It was almost like I had nothing to write about because I didn’t put effort or time into anything else.
5. Continue to do it like it’s the gravity holding you to the planet.
When I found my passion again, it was like getting a piece of myself back that I thought was long gone. Writing is a part of me that is no longer just a silly skill or hobby. It’s a skill that reminds me of where I came from and shows me where I’m headed. Now I have a better balance of writing for fun and writing for work.
Finding your passion is the easy part, but keeping that passion burning inside you after you make it your life is difficult. For me, writing always kept me whole and grounded. When I lost this ability, I lost my stability. Looking back I thought writing was always the career path for me, but looking forward, I am now certain that it is.
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