The draft prospects for Alexander Enyedi, known for his day job as president of SUNY Plattsburgh, have been quietly rising after NBA scouts watched him singlehandedly defeat the entire men’s basketball team, including new recruit LeBron James. 

“I’m a silver stallion, there’s not a soul on God’s green earth that can guard me, it doesn’t matter what league I’m in,“ stated Enyedi. 

Top level scouts say Enyedi is the complete package. 

“He’s got the skills of Air Bud with the build of Slender Man,” stated NBA scout Stanley Sugarman. Sugarman went on to describe Enyedi as a lockdown defender who uses his long gangly arms to keep defenders in check. 

This comes off the heels of a recent news report stating Enyedi has been wearing height-reducing shoes in order to come off as “less frightening” to students.

Enyedi has been praised by members of the local Y for his locker room presence, with many claiming he has a “paternal instinct about him” which Enyedi later attributed to his time “nurturing his baby cardinals.” 

“I’ve been running that honkey tonk ass school for the last 20 years, what makes you think I can’t run this league?” he said. 

Several teams have come out as possible suitors for Enyedi. Both the Milwaukee Bucks and Memphis Grizzlies held private workouts with the prospect earlier this week. The teams evaluated Enyedi through various drills and a full 1-versus-5 game that revealed the university president to be “basketball Jesus.” 

“It was like watching the Mona Lisa be painted, my faith in basketball has been restored,” said a Bucks insider. “The shoes also made a huge difference, he’s like way taller now.” 

Enyedi is projected to fetch an eight-figure starting salary. But he was less than thrilled with the idea of moving to Milwaukee. 

“Ain’t no Michigans up in Milwaukee,” he said, apparently referring to a hot dog delicacy found only in the North Country. 

Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire. All names, events, quotes, and “facts” presented are entirely fabricated and intended solely for comedic and entertainment purposes. This piece should not be interpreted as factual reporting or taken seriously. April fools!