Have you started noticing your personal relationships weaken?
When you’re being interviewed for a job, do you feel unsuccessful in connecting to your potential employer, or fear the results due to your lack of social skills?
If you said “Yes,” to either of these questions, you’re in luck. Dale Carnegie, author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” created his masterpiece to help console your mind, while guiding your future and current relationships. In the second section of the book titled, “Six Ways To Make People Like You,” Carnegie uses examples from his own life, as well as the lives of historical figures, to prove his list of “logics.” Carnegie’s tips are easy to understand and can be implemented at anytime, especially during a networking event or interview.
Tip #1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
In the book, Carnegie says, “A show of interest, as with every other principle of human relations, must be sincere. It must pay off not only for the person showing the interest, but for the person receiving the attention. It is a two-way street — both parties benefit.” Through research, he’s come to believe that being true to how you feel is key. When trying to be genuinely interested in someone, the other person can tell whether your feelings are real or fake, he says.
Tip #2: Smile
According to Carnegie, a smile has always meant, “I like you, you make me happy. I am glad to see you.” Who knew facial muscles could create such positive results (in the eyes of a viewer)?
There are also other qualities that can tickle an employer’s fancy. Stephen M. Dorsey, Saratoga County attorney, finds that, “A sense of humor, confidence and references from other attorney’s,” can fuel his need to hire someone. “I appreciate that kind of effort,” Dorsey says.
Tip #3: Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Matching a face to a name can be difficult, but imagine trying to remember a personal fact the person revealed to you during a previous conversation. Carnegie explains that remembering a first name and a personal fact about someone and recalling it during your next conversation will allow you to excel and be liked.
Tip #4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
The book explains that in order to keep a conversation going, you must always be genuinely interested in what the person’s saying and ask a lot of questions.
Listening expert Paul Sacco, Ph.D., an assistant professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work, told the Huffington Post in an interview that good listeners religiously act upon nine important actions: “Being present, realizing their shortcomings, having an open mind, being emotionally intelligent, asking appropriate follow-up questions, not being defensive, accepting uncomfortableness and being a leader.”
Tip #5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
According to Carnegie’s book, when conversing with someone, it’s best to talk about the other person’s likes and values. Your goal, he says, is to focus on the other person, rather than yourself, which will allow for any uncomfortable feelings to disappear for each party. A trust begins to form.
John Warmt, Saratoga County director of purchasing, once related to a bank teller about drive-thru lollipops during an interview to help him relax. “From that point on, they relaxed and the interview went smoothly,” Warmt says. He feels that being yourself during a networking event or interview is important.
Tip #6: Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely.
Want instant likes from those around you? Surround them with appreciation, Carnegie says. By saying, “You’re so awesome,” you can drive a person to want you as their companion, he adds, and they will always remember you as a nice person who cared.
If you try any of these tips, let us know how they worked for you. Send us an email at email@example.com. You can also contact us on twitter at APN_Magazine.