Beating The Heat

Attention all summer soldiers, man your battle stations. The summer’s high temperatures are storming our gates. A hodge-podge of beautiful days are under threat of extreme heat. I’m Sentinel Sensational Summer and I’m here to give you the rundown of five defenses guaranteed to BEAT THE HEAT!

• Water guns – Like all weapons of warfare, these guns vary in size, shape, range and ammo capacity. But the only ammo you need for these weapons is good old H2O.

  

  Ranging from miniature handguns for the kids to the heavy super-soakers for teenagers and adults, the potential summer beat-downs are unquantifiable. One such water weapon is the Adventure Force blaster, sold at Walmart for around $8-$10. Get some friends together and get your summer soaked.

• Water Balloons – Balloons make all parties look good, but with an ample amount of water, another party explodes into view. Couple this with a good throwing arm, a balloon collection becomes a cache of water-blasting grenades. Use caution when

  

   filling your ammo, unless you plan on soaking yourself before the war even starts. Different balloons mean various durability levels of their anatomical plastics, thus limits on water capacity. For quick ammo refill get Buncho Balloon product, a hose attachment which will 100 exclusive-designed self-sealing balloons in 60 seconds flat. This product can be found at Walmart for around $15.

• Swimming Pools – Ranging from small blow-up bathtubs to rectangles near the size of soccer fields, these bodies of water are  summer necessities. Keep in mind,

  

  personal pools cost hundreds of dollars to install. The Summer Waves Pool found in Walmart costs between $95-$100 to install. Chlorinating products can add up after prolonged use. If you’re not willing to commit the funds, public pools are the next option.
  

• Electric and Hand-Waving Fans – When summer begins its heated assault, homes will be transformed into saunas. Unless you want indoor furniture soaked in

  

  melting ice-water, one option remains: Electric or hand-operated Fan Air Flow. Soldiers are advised to keep all electric fans away from all household objects not weighed down. Electric fans can be purchased at all local home goods stores including Bed Bath and Beyond, Wal-Mart and Target ranging from $15-$30 depending on size and features. If you don’t have the cash, fold a piece of paper in zig-zag style making it look like sea-shell fan away.

• Sunscreen – Banana Boat. Coppertone. The list goes on for potentially miles. If hiking the Adirondacks or any other mountain range or going for a simple run is the main goal, sunscreen is an absolute must. I don’t need to tell you the sun is generating ultraviolet A&B ray radiation. When we aren’t soaking in H2O, without

  

  the proper protection, summer heat rays will fry skin like a beef steak on a barbeque grill. UVA and UVB ray radiation affect human skin in different ways. UVB rays affect the epidermis, causing sunburns, but UVA rays go even deeper affecting tissue cells, putting the soldier at risk of skin cancer, as the skin will darken to prevent more severe injuries. The strongest sunscreen SPF provide 93 percent to 99 percent sun protection. Sunscreen protecting against UVA and UVB radiation such as Coppertone Sport High Performance, are a sure-fire defense against summer heat. Couple sunscreen with clothing, a hat and time in the shade for a sunburn-free day. Sunscreen is sold at Walmart between $6-$11

With all the heat beat-downs these five defenses can dish out, one crucial element out does them all: HAVING FUN. If these defenses are not combined with the soldier’s personal sense of enjoyment, their effectiveness against summer heat is rendered invalid. Summer is a hot season, but it’s up to you soldiers to decide when and how to employ. Now get out there and let’s BEAT THE HEAT!! DIS-MISSED!!!